I didn't start out with the intention of sticking my nose in the problem it just turned out that way. Of course, that's how it always happens, isn't it? You spin the justifications around inside your mind over and over until you've convinced yourself that what was once a stupid idea is now the forerunner for the Nobel.
I could blame Jared; it was after all his initial half-assed remark that convinced me to Tivo Charmed and go to her place. I could even go a step further back and blame Tivo, those ingenious techno Gods. If I were truly committed to my Charmed addiction then perhaps I would have stayed on the couch and out of trouble instead of getting Tivo involved as an accomplice.
I digress, back to my justified dysfunction. Perhaps I need to start closer to the beginning.
Three weeks ago, Halloween I was having Miriam for breakfast . . .
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"Shit!" she screamed at me. "What the hell is your problem?"
"Relax, it always hurts at first. Now hold still before you make a mess and get it in your hair." I pulled her raven locks to the side revealing her neck.
"How big a hole did you make? That really hurt." She kept trying to get her fingers up to inspect the bite mark.
"Serious, you get blood all over and I'll make your ass clean it up." I kept pushing her hand out of the way.
"Would it kill you to have a little bed-side manner?"
"Perhaps not, but why risk it?"
She laughed, "Ass. Let's just do this. I have work in an hour." Miriam settled her weight back into my arms and chest and readjusted the black scrub top I had supplied for her.
What did you think I did? You should all be ashamed of yourselves. I happen to be a holistic practitioner, massage therapist, dietician and licensed phlebotomist. Given, an unorthodox one, but a professional one nonetheless.
I wrapped my arms gently around her then tilted my head in and licked up the blood surrounding her wound before putting my lips over the slow flow of hot, iron heavy vitae. I let the flow come naturally, listening carefully to her heartbeat as it slowed. It was a delicate procedure and if I wasn't careful she could be seriously hurt.
She suffered from Hemochromatosis, an iron toxicity disorder of the blood. Bad for her, good for the anemic leech I am. Since meeting her two years ago and learning of her disorder, we became quite the symbiotic couple. It was nice not having to rely on blood banks or searching for street urchins at the cusp of my hunger. Miriam was ecstatic not having to worry over high medical bills or dialysis even though the necking was still a little surreal at times.
The fleeting moment of life rushed through me in a wave and I exhaled warm breath through my nose, the action giving Miriam goose bumps. She quivered under my embrace and let out a sigh. If I didn't know better I'd say she was a little turned on by the ordeal.
My heart started to beat once again and kept in time with hers, signaling I had taken my fill and her body had taken all the letting it could for the day. I licked the puncture wounds until they disappeared revealing only her flawless mocha skin and a little blood.
We sat there in the embrace while she sought her balance, the loss of blood leaving her dizzy. The situation was a pragmatic one to say the least, but the intimacy of it was hard to ignore. I wondered if my other clients felt that way when they sat in my arms. Perhaps they did, but I like to think that Miriam is the only one I share the sentiment with.
"Thank you," she tapped my arm.
"Thank you." I stepped from around her off the wide chaise lounge and went to the kitchen to retrieve her food while she changed out of the scrubs behind the rice paper curtain, the least I could do. I make sure all my clients get replenished and not with the cheap stuff either. I have a fully stocked fridge filled with the highest quality food available in Seattle. Meats, fruits, and vegetables selected with my clients specific dietary needs in mind. I may be a bastard, but I've never been accused of being a 'cheap' bastard.
"Here you go. Remember –"
"Lot's of fluids, I get it. Enjoy your night, Mac."
"You too." We stood there locked in stares with one another and even though I was thoroughly enjoying the light in her eyes I'm sure she was constantly reminding herself to be professional, trying hard to ignore the depth of the intimacy. And then the moment was ruined. A deep, diaphragm supported belch erupted, completely by accident.
Miriam closed her eyes and shook her head. "Bastard." She slammed the door and stomped down the hall.
I felt bad, really, but it was too funny and I could only laugh. I ran to the door and opened it, calling after her.
"Miriam, wait. I'm sorry," I laughed, "don't leave angry. Come on. Miriam." The elevator opened and she shoved her way past Jared as he exited.
"Hey, Miriam. You're looking good, baby," he said.
She replied by flipping him the bird as the doors closed.
I left the door opened for Jared and sat on the couch scrolling through the cable menu. Nothing needed doing, bills were caught up for a few months and my hibernation was about to begin. The only activity I vowed to exert any kind of effort toward was eating.
Jared shut the door. "What's her problem?"
"I'm a bastard."
"Oh, that," he said dismissively. "Any plans for tonight?" He sifted through my stack of business cards on the end table. "New cards?"
"New-ish. My plans? You're looking at them."
"Charmed? Seriously?" He pocketed one of the cards.
"What's the matter with Charmed?"
"Gag me."
"I like it. It's like a sexy, underworld documentary, you know?"
"No, I don't know."
"Well, maybe more like a mocumentary." It's a guilty pleasure to be sure, the writing isn't all that great and things tip toward overly dramatic and even a bit predictable, but that's why it's called a guilty pleasure, right?
"Is this really the extent of your plans?"
"I don't even think a shower is in my near future, dude."
Jared's contempt was highlighted on his face.
"What?"
"Nothing," he pouted. Well, he tried to act nonchalant but the edge of bitchy teenager was pretty sharp.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"If you're going to be a menstruating chic, do it in the hallway and out of my Lazyboy."
"I'm cashing in a favor."
"The hell you say. If anything, you're down like five favors in the red with me."
"This is different," he promised.
"Every time I do you a favor I end up broke and smelling like a used wash rag. No thanks."
"Mac, it's Sebina."
The opening credits sequence of Charmed was the only thing dancing on the back of the silence in my apartment.
"I told you to stay out of it."
"I know."
"I told you to leave her alone."
"Mac, I know."
"She's made her choice and there's nothing you or I can do about it."
"I know!"
"You know, yet here we are."
"She's at the Dead Rest downtown. You used to bounce there, right?"
"Yeah. How much?"
"She didn't tell me."
"How much?" I knew he was lying. If he had gotten involved Sebina would make sure he knew exactly how much she owed before sending him to me.
"Fifty large."
"She's not worth that on a good day." I went back to my show.
"She's my sister. You got to help her, Mac. If you ever loved her-"
"Get out." The audacity of that jack ass, questioning the love I had for her.
"Please," he was begging now.
"Get out of my apartment."
"What am I supposed to tell her?"
"She wasted my time."
Jared made for the door. I continued to watch the Halliwell sisters dance across the screen.
"She loved you, still does in fact. Shouldn't that count for something?" Jared couldn't look me in the face.
"It does, just not fifty thousand dollars. Good bye."
Jared slammed the door. I was getting pretty tired of people taking their anger toward me out on my door.
Perhaps better the door than my delicate features.
I think the thing that pissed me off the most about the whole thing was that I knew the piss ant was right; she did love me. Didn't that obligate me on some level?
It wasn't long before I was hitting record on my Tivo, showering and heading out the door to step blindly into the shit baggage piled high around my ex.